He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
