im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
