Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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