I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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