I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
