Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
