i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just found puke in my bra..
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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