It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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