Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
