I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
