He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
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