Just mADE A PArabola og urine
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
