I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
