I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
