oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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