Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
