About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
