At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
