Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
