Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
