I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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