im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
