I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize