sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
