I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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