dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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