why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
