Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
