I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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