Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I faked an abortion last night.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
