So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
