Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize