Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she pinky promised me she was 18
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
