Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
