so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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