You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
