dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
