yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Apparently you make a good broom.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
