piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize