oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
