C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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