Its about making memories worth repressing
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's blow job season.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
