I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
