I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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