I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
