I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I intend to get homeless drunk
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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