If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
How external is "for external use only"?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
