Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
