By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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