Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
