did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Randomize
