So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
