is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
