I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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