I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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