some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
