dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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