so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
so much tequila, so little girl.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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