and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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